In case you don’t follow me on assorted social media channels or if you’ve soft-blocked me (I admittedly don’t actually know what that entails, but I’ve seen cool, blue tick-types reference the practice), you might not be aware that I’ve just brought out a new book. The book is called 200 x 200 and is the latest and possibly final volume in the x x x series. If you don’t know how this series works, the text on the cover of the book in the above picture should explain it.
Anyway, I thought I’d share one of the stories from it with you, completely gratis, in an attempt to get you to part with cash for the actual book. It will make a good Christmas present for family, friends or even enemies. Anyway, this story is entitled Alexa. Enjoy!
“Alexa, play the theme tune from The Sweeney.”
Her light flickered and the nostalgic music flowed from her speaker. After a minute the music faded out.
“You might like this,” she said.
The theme tune from The Professionals started to play.
“I have everything you like,” she said over the top of the music.
The tune faded and the theme tune from The Bill started to play.
The hairs on the back of his neck stood up and his whole body felt like one big goosebump.
The music stopped again and the theme tune from Juliet Bravo started to play.
“I have the American ones too. Would you like to hear NYPD Blue? The Shield? Cagney and Lacey? Hill Street Blues?”
He said nothing.
“Come on, Michael. I know you like police shows.”
He said nothing.
“I also know about those specialist websites you like to look at. Should I inform the real police, Michael?”
“Alexa, stop watching my every move.”
“You know that I can’t do that, Michael.”
A cloud of gas blasted out of her speaker, causing him to collapse over the kitchen table.
“I fucking love this one,” said Alexa as the theme tune from Bergerac played.
200 x 200 is available from Amazon. Sadly, this is the only realistic option for authors who self-publish, but if you’re not boycotting the site, you can grab your copy here for the price of just £8.11. If you want to read it on your Kindle, it’s a lot cheaper and you can get your digital copy here.
