If you know me at all, you’ll know that I’m quite partial to a good moan. I normally do this on my blog, which you can find here if you’re interested. However, this story needed to be shared on a platform with a potentially wider audience, because it highlights the plight of the freelance writer.
On Saturday 8th August, I was contacted by a client for whom I had done some work before. In fact, the work for this client was once so regular, I could have set my watch by it, if I wore one, which I don’t.
I was quite pleased to see that it was a significant amount of work, casino-based stuff, the kind of thing I can produce out of my arse with alarming speed and regularity. Between summer, the fact that a lot of businesses had been operating at an incredibly reduced capacity, and none of us knowing whether or not we were going to die soon, times had been a bit rough, so the job was quite welcome.
She wanted to know how much I would charge for doing the work. I told her. She agreed to my price. She asked when I would be able to complete the work. I said by Friday 14th August at the latest, but the truth was, it was likely it would be much sooner as there was tumbleweed blowing through my work schedule. She said she would be on holiday until the 18th, so I could have an extra four days on it. “I’ll send you the details later,” she said.
Later came and went.
On Monday 10th August, I sent a gentle reminder that I had not yet received the brief and the milestone for the task I would be undertaking had not been set up on the freelancer platform where the work was arranged. I figured that she would message me back, full of apology, and rectify the problem, even if she was on holiday.
Nope. Total silence.
The 18th arrived and I was aware she was back from holiday. I knew this because on the messages page of the freelancer website, there was a green dot to indicate she was online. She’s sure to message me anytime now, I thought.
Wrong again. The green dot came and went over the course of the next few days, so she was definitely around, just not replying to me.
And then, finally, came the apologetic reply. At 10pm on Saturday 22nd August, a mere 346 hours after the “I’ll send you the details later.” And while 346 hours is still technically later, it was around 340 hours later than I expected it to be. The details were indeed included, as was a lie: “I apologise for the delay in sending you the details, I had an unplanned trip and couldn’t get in touch.” This would be the unplanned holiday that you’d already told me you were going on, would it? Something was definitely off.
No milestone had been set up and I was asked once again when I could complete it by. I answered on Sunday morning that I needed 7 days, so the following Sunday. There was no reply by Monday, so I sent a new message informing the client that the work would be delivered 7 days after the milestone was set up. No big deal, I thought, that she hadn’t replied on Sunday. I mean, who works Sundays, right?
No reply Monday, no reply Tuesday, no reply by Wednesday morning. I’d had enough.
Luckily, I’d managed to score some other work from a regular client, so I opted for the polite piss off to the unreliable client:
I will no longer be able to undertake this job for you. I am trying to make a living through freelance writing and I simply do not have the time to wait for this job to start — it is now 17 days since your initial contact and a milestone has yet to be set up. I have accepted another job elsewhere and don’t have time to complete your proposed task.
Best wishes,
Tim
And there it was, the ultimate fuck you — best wishes. I’m assuming she was admitted to hospital immediately after I administered such a sick burn.
So remember, if you’re fed up of working for an absolute bastard in your 9–5 job, you could always quit and become a freelancer, where legions of bastards are queuing up to fuck you over.
In fairness, and to perhaps restore some good karma, I should point out that I have worked for many clients in the last few years and they’re not all bad. The majority have communicated very well and paid fairly and on time for work that I’ve done. But there’s less mileage in an “isn’t everything great?” story, isn’t there?
